👇👇👇

I open my eyes, and I’m in Julien’s arms, and he’s yelling at someone. “Julien?” I croak. He looks down at me, and relief washes over him. “Lauren, are you okay? What happened?” he asks. I look around, and I’m in the hospital wing, and there are nurses surrounding us. “I don’t know?” I answer, but as soon as the words leave my mouth, I instantly remember. I remember the events that led me to the full-on panic attack, resulting in me fainting. My chest feels tight, and all I want to do is get out of here and make it to my room. To my bed, where I can fall apart without everyone knowing, and watching. I’ll muster up every bit of strength I have, just make it there, I tell myself. I wiggle out of Julien’s arms. “I’m okay. I’m just feeling tired. I think I’m a little under the weather. I just need to go to bed, and rest,” I assure Julien and the medical staff surrounding me. “Let us at least check your vitals,” a Doctor asks. “I’m really fine. I’d just like to go get some rest, I’ll come back if I feel worse,” I assure them, and start to leave.

Julien is hot on my trail. “Lauren, what the HEL?” he asks. “In my room,” I whisper yell. I keep my head down and we speed walk to my bedroom. As soon as my bedroom door closes, the floodgates are open, and I’m sobbing uncontrollably. Before Julien can even ask me, what’s going on or why I’m crying, I spill. “I found… my mate… and … he didn’t… want… me,” I sob. “Who? When?” he asks, brows furrowed. I explained what had taken place in the cafeteria earlier, and Julien is pissed. To say Julien is a protective older brother, is an understatement. Julien is one of the top warriors in our clan, and he’s never been afraid to use his strength to protect me or stick up for me. He could never win against our Alpha though, so the last thing I want is him getting himself hurt, or worse because of his protective instincts. “Promise me you won’t say anything to him!” I demand. Julien looks at me, studying me. “I can’t promise that. I can promise I won’t say anything yet. Hopefully, this is a misunderstanding, and you both will sort through this… quickly.” He pulls me into a hug.

The next 3 days were spent in my room crying, feeling anxious and feeling pain like I never have before. I had been calling in sick at work. On day 4, Julien stopped by with breakfast. “Eat, and then shower and put on some work out clothes. You love the gym, and you’ve always exercised to deal with your problems and stress, so why not now?” He asks. “You can’t hold up in here for the rest of your life. You need to start living. Plus, maybe this was just a misunderstanding, and if it was, great you can both move on, and if it wasn’t… well then you still need to move in. You can’t live like this forever,” Julien explains. He’s right. I’m so full of self loathing, even though I know I don’t deserve this. I wolf down my eggs and bacon, and then Julien and I agree to meet at the gym in 40 minutes. I have time to shower and get dressed in some work out clothes.

After my shower, I find myself staring into my mirror, looking at my reflection. I can’t help but want to pick apart my appearance in the mirror. My chestnut hair never bothered me before. In fact, I always liked the reddish-brown hue, but maybe Nathan doesn’t like it? I have hazel eyes, and soft features, and my body is toned. My boobs aren’t huge, but they’re not tiny. My HIP is bigger than I would like, maybe that’s it? Maybe Nathan wants the stick figure body? Or huge boobs? Maybe he likes blondes? Or fire red hair? Blue eyes? Green eyes? I’m average height at 5’4”, maybe he wants a tall mate? I remember his face; he was so disgusted. What is it he is so repulsed by? I’m not a warrior, maybe he wanted a strong Luna? It’s killing me. I need to know. What’s wrong with me? I need to ask him. So I can at least know what it is, and if there is anything I can do. I never thought my fated mate would want to change me, or that I wouldn’t be good enough for him. I thought I would be created perfectly for him. I also never thought I would want to change myself for someone. This doesn’t feel right.

***

Julien was right; working out was just what I needed. I still feel like my world is falling apart around me, but I feel a little stronger right now. I’ve always seen myself as being strong and I stand my ground, but it seems like I am not myself when it comes to Nathan. I'm a worse version of myself. I thought it was supposed to be the opposite with mates? We stayed at the gym for two hours. We did plenty of working out, but we also had moments of just talking through my thoughts and Julien reassuring me that I’m enough. My self confidence took a real hit through this whole thing. He’s the best big brother, and one of my best friends.

Julien and I left the gym separately because Julien had to make a warrior training class. I made my way back to the pack house, so I could get cleaned up, and then I needed to visit my Mom. Apparently she was starting to worry about me, because I’d locked myself in my room for the last few days. I told my mom that I was sick, and she believed it. Julien told her he would bring me my meals, so she wouldn’t come over. Julien said she was really starting to worry this morning, and she was going to come and check on me today. I am deep in thought, thinking about whether I should tell my Mom about what’s really going on in my life, when the sound of a growl pulls me back to reality. I look up, and to my surprise Nathan is in front of me, alone. I stop mid stride, and freeze. He’s just a few feet away from me, and being this close, his heavenly scent fills my lungs. Even just smelling him feels good. Our eyes are locked, and he looks so mad again. His body is tense, and his hands are clenched. Part of me wants to just throw caution to the wind and touch him. I want to touch him so badly.

I take one step closer, and he takes a quick step backwards. “W-what is it? Why don’t you want me?” I ask, trying to sound as strong as possible, but my voice cracked, and I know my emotions are written all over my face. “I don’t want a mate. I don’t want you,” the way his face had disgust etched so deeply when he said “I don’t want you,” did not go unnoticed. “Why?” I ask. Even though my heart is breaking, and part of me knows I should walk away at this point, I can’t. “Fated mates just make Alpha’s weaker. I am going to control this pack the way I see fit, and I don’t need a fated mate to make me weak and lose sight of my goals. I’ve agreed to a match with the Alpha Roy’s daughter, of New Moon. I’ll keep my head screwed on, and our pups will be strong with both parents having Alpha blood running through their veins,” he admits.

Hearing him talk about being with someone else and having pups with her physically hurt. I felt my chest tightening, and I could feel the tears threatening to fall. I wouldn’t let him see me cry. I took a quick step forward, and somehow my legs seem to be unstable, and I tripped over my own feet. I felt his strong hand grab my arm roughly, and jolt me up. “Watch where you’re walking,” he growled. I couldn’t help but just stare at him. The feeling of his hand on my wrist sent sparks all the way up my arm. He yanked his hand back and stomped off. It wasn’t a misunderstanding, like Julien hoped; he really doesn’t want me. In that moment, it felt so final. I won’t have my mate. In that moment, I knew I had to tell my mother everything.

Chapter 2

Zac’s point of View

“Alpha, can you please sign off on these? The construction crew had a few issues, and had changes to make,” Paul asks me. I grab the papers from my Beta and take a look at them. The contractors ran into issues and it requires more material, and it looks like it’s going to cost an extra 10,000 dollars now. I sign off, and hand the papers back to Paul. The old warriors building was so small, and it was just unacceptable for what I wanted. I could have made it work if we trained in small groups, and didn’t allow women and men to train together, but it’s not what I’m used to from when I was Beta at Black Moon. The quality of fighters Alpha Jack Lavard has at Black Moon, has a lot to do with the fact that everyone gets to learn from everyone. There are different classes for different skill sets, but getting everyone together can be so valuable.

I also want to grow my pack; I only received the title of Alpha of Red River Pack just over 4 months ago. Before I became Alpha to Red River Pack, I was Beta to Black Moon, the largest and strongest clan on this side of the country. I still have a hard time believing I am an Alpha now. I never thought I would have the opportunity because I was groomed to be a Beta my entire life. I would be lying if I said I didn’t think I deserved to be an Alpha for many years, though. I knew I was stronger than a lot of Alpha's I had met. The Alpha of Black Moon, Jack Lavard, was the strongest wolf I have ever met, so challenging him for his title never made sense. We also grew up together, and we have always been best friends. It was a hard position to be in. I had a really hard time taking orders sometimes, and I know if I didn’t respect and love Jack like a brother, I wouldn’t have been able to do it.

I lean back in my chair, in my office, and think back to the day that my life changed so drastically. The previous Alpha of this clan, Tim Johnson gathered an Army to attack Black Moon because he was trying to avenge his son’s death., Jack had killed Alpha Johnson’s son Derrick, who was soon to be Alpha of this clan. Jack was justified in his actions; any man would have reacted the same way he did. Alpha’s are known to be possessive and protective, and Jack was protecting his family. I would do the same to protect my family, one day. If I’m lucky enough to find my mate, I would do anything to protect her and our children.

The day Tim Johnson attacked Black Moon, he was unsuccessful. Jack killed him in battle, and then Red River was without an Alpha. Alpha Tim, and his Beta were both killed. Malcolm, the Gamma was still alive, and as the strongest surviving member, anyone was given the right to challenge him for the position of Alpha. I fought and won, and no one else challenged me. I kept Malcolm as Gamma because he seemed to be following Alpha Johnson out of fear for his safety and that of his mates. We seem to get along good, even though I'm not sure he was as naïve as he claimed to be.

Alpha Johnson lied to his pack, so they would go along with attacking Black Moon, and Jack. I think most everyone from this clan is grateful with the change of leadership after Tim lied and manipulated everyone and risked their lives. Even after everyone learned the truth, some were still loyal to the Johnsons. Tim Johnson left behind a daughter and a wife. I offered to move them out of the Alpha quarters in the pack house, and into one of the small houses on Red River’s pack lands, but they left Red River. I’m not sure if they were scared or just hated me, but that only made those loyal to the Johnson’s hate me even more. I then had no choice but to kick out over 20 members because I couldn’t trust them. Obviously, I’ve had my work cut out for me.

Since becoming Alpha, I have changed quite a bit around here. I have been working tirelessly to make sure warriors are getting the training that they need to, to become better and stronger. After a few weeks I decided to make Paul my Beta. He isn’t necessarily the second strongest guy in the clan, but we got along well and I need loyalty and trust at my right hand before brute strength. Paul is probably the 3rd-4th strongest guy, and I have been training him hard so he'll improves. We train together for up to a few hours a day alone. I want him to be deserving of his title, and I don’t want people to think he doesn’t deserve it. He’s hungry to learn, and I know he’ll get there. He’s already improved drastically.

Jack has been sort of mentoring me, and helping me with the ins and outs of running a pack well. He does it better than anyone I know, so his advice is invaluable. He has stressed, as Alpha we need to be able to sink a lot of money into the pack, especially if I want to grow it. I was so heavily involved in Jack’s accounting firm, he has decided to make me a partner, and that money has been really helpful. Jack got me into investing in stocks, and commercial real estate. So, between business and Pack duties, I have been swamped. It’s an exciting time in my life though. I have about 280 members in my pack, and I have big dreams.

Knock knock

“Come in!” I look up to see Malcom come in and closes the door behind him. “Hey Alpha!" “Hey, what’s up?” I ask. “I have to cancel tonight; Jenny isn’t feeling good.” Every Friday, Malcolm, Paul and I drive into the small town close by and go for a few drinks at the pub. Occasionally we invite a few other guys, but regularly it’s just the 3 of us. Paul is mate-less, and so am I, so on occasion we ditch Malcolm to find ourselves in the company of some beautiful woman. As an Alpha, it’s really bad practice to fool around with the she-wolves from your pack. I remember Jack always talking about how it was a big ‘no-no’. It would only make things more complicated for my future mate, my Luna. It can cause a lot of drama and problems in the long run. “Is she okay?” I ask. “Just the flu, I think. Nothing too serious. I’m going to run into town and get some soup for her, I was going to head out now. Is there anything you need before I go?” “No, go take care of Jenny. I hope she’s feeling better soon. If there’s anything I can do, let me know,” I offer. He gives me a smile and a nod, and then heads out.

I spend the next few hours in my office, planning out my next project. Finally, I hear another knock on my office door. “Come in,” I say. Paul walks in, “What are you still doing working? It’s 8pm. Are we not going to the pub tonight?” He asks. “SHT, I lost track of time. Lets get out of here. I’m starving.” I confess. “Well let’s get to Peggy’s so you can get a mediocre burger,” Paul chuckles.

We walk into the pub and take a seat at the bar. Peggy’s bar is the only spot for any locals to get a drink. The population of this town is about 6500, so even though the place is a bit run down, and the food is mediocre, the place seems to have a constant flow of customers, especially on the weekend. The customer service is always great though. Peggy is like the sweet and sassy Grandma we all wish we had. Peggy doesn’t give us her usual big happy greeting as we walk in, because she’s on the phone. She seems pretty upset. I can overhear her talking to someone, and I can only catch bits and pieces of the conversation.

“I should kill that BASDARD. [Pause] I know I couldn’t physically kill him, but I want to. How dare he? I need to get a gun, with silver bullets.” She whispers the last part. She knows about werewolves? Is she a hunter? Or does she just have her sights on one werewolf in particular? I look at Paul, and he’s looking at me with wide eyes. He’s obviously eavesdropping as well. “You’re right. Send her to me. She’ll be safe here, and I’ll get that gun. I know. I love you too. Don’t worry. She’s going to be fine. Bye Darlin’,” Peggy hangs up, and then makes her way over to us. By the sound of the conversation, it didn’t sound like she’s a hunter, more like pissed off at one wolf in particular.

“Well, if it isn’t my favorite customers,” Peggy smiles at us, and leans her hands on the bar. “You say that to everyone,” Paul chuckles. “But I mean it when I say it to you two strapping lads,” she smiles and winks. She really does say it to every customer that walks in, but Peggy has a way of making you feel like we all are her favorite. She’s just so cheerful and welcoming. No doubt, even if this little town got a nice fancy bar with big screen TV’s, and fancy furniture, everyone would still end up here. “What can I get you both tonight?” She asks. “I’ll get 2 bacon cheeseburgers, with the works, fries, and a Budweiser.” I order. “Always so hungry,” she chuckles. “I’ll get a big bowl of chili and a Bud as well,” Paul orders.

We have a few drinks and eat our dinner at the bar. We call it an early night tonight because I’m exhausted, and head back to the pack house at around 10.

Chapter 3

Lauren’s Point of View

I thought that after Nathan had told me he didn’t want me, and that he wanted to have pups with another women, that he’d keep his distance and leave me alone. I expected him to formally reject me, but I was wrong. The last few weeks have been terrible. Any time I see him, he’s scowling at me, or he’s following me out of the dining hall, or the gym, or even work to berate me. Telling me that I disgust him, or that he hates me. We never really talked before I found out that we were mates, because he’s 3 years older than me; he didn’t go out of his way to be cruel. Not to me, or anyone in our pack that I noticed. We all knew him to be quiet, cold, maybe a little cocky. It was common knowledge that he had big aspirations for our clan; to grow it, and to improve our reputation. He wants our pack to be known as the fiercest and strongest.

I put on my dress, and shoes, and then make my way to my bathroom to do my makeup. I look in the mirror and the stress of the last few weeks are evident on my face. I have circles under my eyes, and I just look washed out, and tired. I haven’t slept well since my 18th birthday. I start to put on makeup; more makeup than I would usually put on, but I am required to be down at the party tonight. The party to welcome Blair, Nathan’s fiancé to our pack. I had no plans on going, but Nathan stopped me outside of the kitchen this morning and ordered me to attend. “You’ll be punished if you disobey me,” his deep voice ordered. It hurts enough that he doesn’t want me, but then for him to go out of his way to try and rub Blair’s presence in my face, just seems beyond cruel. Why would Moon Goddess pair us together?

I finish up by swiping some tinted lip balm to my lips, and take one final look. I’m just wearing a knee length plain black dress, nothing fancy, and it doesn’t show my body off at all. I just left my hair down straight, and aside from the makeup to cover up the damage from the last month, I look rather plain, and hopefully unnoticeable, that’s the plan at least. I don’t want anyone noticing me, and I want to be able to sneak out as early as possible, without being too hard to spot, or too easy to find.

A month ago, I was looking for any opportunity to see Nathan. The pull to him was so strong, that I would have begged him to give me a chance if I thought that it would have worked. Thankfully, it seemed pointless, and I didn’t stoop that low. Slowly though, I am starting to resent him. To hate him. He’s cruel to me, and I didn’t do anything wrong. He was supposed to be the one person that would protect me and my heart. I was supposed to be be by his side, to care for him, and to love him the way a Mate should. But somehow, I seem to have gotten to the same place he has. My heart doesn’t want him, and I hate him. My body and my heart are two different things though. My body reacts to him, even though I wish it didn’t.

Just as I’m finishing up, I hear a knock at the door, and I know it’s my best friend Sadie, coming to pick me up. Sadie went away for college, so I haven’t seen her since she moved away 2 months ago. Sadie was so excited to hear that our ‘future Luna’ was having a welcome party that she made the trip home. I was too embarrassed to tell her that Nathan was my mate, and that I disgust him. I also told myself the last thing I needed was my best friend worrying about me when she was supposed to be focusing on her studies, but if I’m being honest with myself, I was really just embarrassed.

“Hey Sadie! Wow you look amazing!” I greet her and pull her into a hug. Her short silky purple dress hugs her body perfectly. Her blonde hair is curled and half up, she looks incredible. “Hey! I missed you! Thank you!” She says as she wraps her arms around me. She pulls back, “What’s up with the hair and dress? You’re not very dressed up,” she notices. “I’m just not really feeling up to going to this dinner, and I won’t be staying long. I’m not staying for the cocktail meet and greet, I’m just going to go to the dinner,” I explain. She furrows her brows. “Are you sick?” She asks, as she places the back of her hand on my forehead. I playfully swat her hand away, “No, just not in a partying mood, I guess,” which isn’t a lie. “You do look kind of tired, actually.” “Geez, thanks!” I chuckle. That's just a nice way of saying I look like CRP. It's true, but it kind of sucks to hear. “You’re always beautiful, and I’m not saying you look bad, just that you don’t look like the same lively Lauren I left 2 months ago, when I went away to school,” she admits. “I haven’t been sleeping well. I’m exhausted, which is a good reason for me to leave early tonight to get to bed early.” She frowns. “I missed you though,” she whines. “Let’s go, I’m starving,” I lie, so we can change the subject. I grab her hand and we head down to the dining hall, which is looking extra nice tonight. “I was surprised to hear that this was such a formal affair, considering this is just the introduction,” Sadie muses. I wondered that myself, but I have a feeling it was all Nathan’s idea. Just another way to rub in my face that he doesn’t want me. If he hates me so much, why doesn’t he reject me? I have been asking myself that a lot the last month. I keep expecting him to anytime he pulls me aside, but he doesn’t.

When we walk into the dining hall, I can’t help but steal a look at Nathan and Blair. She has blonde hair, and she’s very pretty. I can’t help but notice her hand on his arm, while she speaks happily with him. I would imagine this is what being stabbed in the heart feels like. I suck in a deep breath. ‘Get it together. He’s an AS HOLE, and he doesn’t want you,” I remind myself, over and over. I look away, before he catches me looking. We take a seat, and I sit so my back is to the Alpha’s table. I don’t want to have to watch them all night.

Soon Nathan is asking for everyone’s attention. Everyone faces him. I take a deep breath, and turn my body to face him, but refuse to look at him. I plant my eyes on the light fixture above him and I force myself to block out his voice. I force myself to recite ‘I’m okay. I will fall in love one day. Plenty of she-wolves have mates that aren’t their fated mate. I’m okay.” I repeat it over and over, and when I hear everyone clap, I follow suit, and sit down with everyone.

Nathan’s point of view

Lauren came in here, and I didn’t even see her look at me or Blair. Does she not care? She is sitting with her back to me. Why doesn’t she care? I was expecting more out of her than this. I know I don’t want a fated mate. I don’t want to be weak; I want to be strong and fierce, and she’d just have too much power over me if I gave into it. Still, I have a deep desire for her, and I want to hurt her as much as possible. It’s my defense mechanism. F.K, even in that plain dress, I see the contour of her hips, and her round HIP. She looks good. F.K! She’ll make me weak, and soft, and I’d never be able to accomplish everything that I have planned for this pack. Plus, she’s weak. She trains in the gym a lot, but she doesn’t fight at all. She works at the daycare with babies and toddlers. She isn’t what I need for a Luna. I need to hurt her, so she knows she’s nothing to me. She’s nothing to me. I just need to keep reminding myself of that.

She won’t look at me, but I know how to make her. “Can I get everyone’s attention?” I say as we stand, with Blair’s hand in mine. I look straight to Lauren. I want to see her face when she sees us hold hands. She’s facing me, but she’s looking up at the ceiling. She might not want to look at me, but she’ll hear me.

“It’s is my great honour to introduce to you my fiancé, Blair Roy, daughter of Alpha Shep Roy, from Blue Moon. I have asked Blair to be my mate, and Luna,” I say loudly, trying to make everyone feel like I’m proud to have her. Lauren’s face didn’t falter at all. “Not only is Blair wonderful, she also has strong Alpha blood running through her veins and soon enough, so will our pups.” I add. Still nothing from Lauren. What the HEL? “I couldn’t ask for a better mate, and a better Luna for all of you. I know you all will love her. Her Luna ceremony will be held on the next full moon in two weeks from now,” I add. Still nothing. “Thank you!” I add. Everyone starts clapping and pull Blair into a kiss. She’s eager, so it’ll help sell it even more. As soon as I pull away from Blair, I look to Lauren but she was sitting back in her seat, with her back turned to me. Everyone is seated. Has she forgotten about me already? Or is she just getting better at hiding her emotions. She was so obvious with her feeling at first; it was gratifying. It made me feel like I was sticking to my plan, and it was working. The plan I’ve always had, reject my fated mate.

Dinner is served, and I’m so consumed with thoughts about Lauren, that I basically ignored Blair. She was always rubbing my back, or arm, or nuzzling into me. Nuzzling into me? Like It’s dinner time. I wonder what it would feel like if Lauren nuzzled into me? I hate her so much for doing this to me. I’ve never hated anyone more in my entire life. I remember when she tripped a few weeks ago, and my hand went out to catch her; the sparks were far more intense than I had imagined they would have been. I should have let her fall. Part of me wants to have her body, just once, just to see what it would feel like. If I rage FKED her, maybe I could get her out of my head? Maybe she would despise me even more then?

Our dishes are being taken, and light music comes on, and champagne is being distributed. People are getting up and starting to socialize. “Should we make the rounds, and you can introduce me to everyone important?” Blair asks, excitedly. I nod, and she wraps her arm around mine. I start introducing Blair to people, and then I see Lauren grab two champagne flutes. She downs one, then the other. For her to be downing alcohol, this must be getting to her. I can’t help the smile on my face. I see her start to walk towards the exit. “Jake, would you please look after Blair for a minute? Alpha business,” I say firmly, to my Beta. “Of course!” I quickly exit the same door Lauren did. I don’t see her; she must be moving fast. I start running toward her sweet floral scent. I soon see her speed walking down the hallway close to her room. “Stop!” I growl. She pauses mid step and turns to look at me.

Lauren’s point of view

I’m rushing to my room, to get away from the party. The last thing I need is for him to introduce her to me. He would too, he hates me. “Stop!” A deep voice growls. I stop, and slowly turn around. I know it’s him. Why can’t he just leave me alone? “What is it, Alpha?” I ask, looking to the floor. He continues stalking towards me. “Don’t you think it’s extremely disrespectful to your future Luna, that you’re leaving her welcoming party without even introducing yourself to her?” He asks, anger laced in every word. In this moment, I’ve had enough. I can’t live like this anymore. I stand tall, and look him in the eye. I’m so tired of this. “Why are you doing this? If you don’t want me, fine. Why do you need to try and hurt me even more?” I ask. I can feel the tears threatening to fall, but I’m trying my hardest to stay strong. He looks at me stunned, obviously surprised by my sudden burst of strength and confidence. “I hate you so much, I can’t help myself,” he seethed. “Well why haven’t you rejected me then?” I ask. He doesn’t respond. He just continues to look at me with disgust. “Well, let me do it then. I Lauren Crane, reject you…” His eyes are wide, and if looks could kill, I would be 6 feet under right now. “…Nathan Matheson of Claw Moon,” I say, and I feel a shooting pain through my chest. I see Nathan brace himself against the wall too, so he must have felt it as well. I turn and run to my room. As soon as my door is shut, the tears start to fall. I text my mother right away,

Me: Please come to my room. I just rejected Nathan.

Mom: On my way.

Chapter 4

“I seen Alpha Nathan on the way up here. He looks livid. I am really scared for you,” my mom says, while wiping the tears from my face. “I couldn’t do it anymore. He went out of his way to hurt me, to rub it in my face that he didn’t want me. I can’t live like this anymore,” I sob. “I completely understand, honey. I didn’t expect you to. I don’t know how safe it is for you here right now,” she explains.

“What will happen now that I rejected him? Will the mate bond be severed?” I ask. “For the most part, for you anyways. On the next full moon, it will be completely severed. For Nathan, he’d have to accept your rejection, and then come next full moon, he would be fully severed from you as well,” she explains. “It’s not safe for you here, Lo. You need to get far away from here. At least for a little while,” my Mom explains. I nod. “Where do I go?” “I think I might know someone that could help you. I used to work for her. You remember me talking about Peggy? She was like a second mother to me, back when I was your age. We were very close. She’s a human, but she knew what I was. We were so close, that I told her, and she accepted me. I have kept in touch over the phone throughout the years,” she responds.

I’ve heard her mention Peggy before. She pulls out her phone and starts dialing. I hear a small knock on the door, and I’m filled with relief when I see it’s Julien and Sadie. I mind link them both about what happened tonight, so I don’t interrupt my Mom’s phone call. This is a lot to take in for Sadie. She wasn’t expecting for me to have found my mate yet, let alone me rejecting him. My Mom gets off the phone, “Peggy said you can stay with her. She owns a bar, and she said she could even use a waitress,” she says. I feel so much relief at this revelation.

“Start packing, it’s a long drive. It’s 9pm now. If you leave in a half an hour, you could be around 7-8am, if you drive straight through.” My relief is suddenly replaced with panic. Can I really do this? I don’t have time to think about it though, thankfully. “Julien, run down to get a Jerry can of gas, and put it in the trunk of Lauren’s car. Lauren might need it, driving through the night, she might have a hard time finding a gas station,” She pauses. “Sadie, can you run to the kitchen, and pack some fruit and snacks with some water and energy drinks for her?” Mom asks. Sadie nods and leaves. “You pack, I’ll be back in a few minutes,” my mom instructs. I get changed into leggings and a comfy sweater, and then I grab my large suitcase, and my small carryon size bag. I put all my toiletries and makeup, electronics in that. Then I place as much clothing as I can in my big suitcase. I’m debating what clothing I should bring and what I should leave behind when my Mom quickly enters my room with her large suitcase.

“Take mine too. We don’t know how long you’ll be gone for. I’m going to stay here and keep an eye on how Nathan takes this. If after the next full moon, the mate bond is broken, then you can come back,” she says. I nod, but I can’t imagine ever being a part of this pack again. How can I accept him as my Alpha after everything? My mom starts putting more clothes in her suitcase. “Mom, I don’t need to take pretty dresses. That’s not a necessity,” I remind her. “If you can fit it, you take it. Plus, you never know when you might NEED one.” It doesn’t take us long and I’ve got nearly all my clothes packed in these two large suitcases. I make room for a few sentimental items. A framed picture of my family before my Dad died a few years ago. A photo album, my small Jewelry box which basically has a few items my Dad bought me growing up. A few books, a small stuffed bear that was mine since I was a kid, and my favourite pillow.

When Sadie and Julien get back to my room, Sadie is now tasked with finding Nathan, and keeping an eye on him, so she can mind link us if he starts coming our way. The plan is to sneak out without being seen. “I’m coming with you,” Julien states. “No! I’m not getting you involved in this too,” I demand. “If you try and come, I’m not going to go Julien. I am not getting you involved in this, and I’m not having you risk your future in this pack because of me,” I say firmly. “Lauren, I don’t want you driving off into the night all by yourself,” he reasons. “I totally get that. You want to protect me just as much as I want to protect you. Call me every hour, or even every half hour if you want,” I offer. He looks so torn, but I meant it when I said that I wouldn’t leave if he comes with me. He loves this pack, and I’m not ruining his future. He finally nods hesitantly

. “This is all the cash I have on me. I’ll send some if you need more,” Mom explains. I look down in the envelope full of money. “Mom, No! You worked for this. How much is here? This looks like a lot of money!” “I want you to have it. Don’t argue with me, do you hear me? I have plenty in the bank, you know Daddy set me up well. This is all I have in cash on me right now though, there's 2000 dollars. It should tide you over for a little anyways,” Mom explains. I hate taking money from her, but I only started working full time at the daycare 4 months ago, after I graduated high school. I saved most of my money for the down payment on my car; a 3 year old little dark blue Chevy Malibu, but I still have a little saved. “I have about a 1000$ in my bank account too, Mom. I don’t need to take all of this.” I tried arguing with her, but she insisted.

When we make it down to my car, Julien loads my car up, while I hug my Mom, and say goodbye to her. I suddenly realize that I’m never coming back here. I can’t face Nathan ever again. This sudden realization has me sobbing. Not for the loss of Nathan, but for the loss of my friends and family, my job, my home. Julien pulls me into a hug. We’re so close, I’m going to really miss him. I’ll miss them both. “Hey, this whole thing should be taken care of in a few weeks, after the full moon,” he tries to comfort me. I force a small smile, and nod. “Snacks and drinks are in the passenger seat. Hook up your phone right away, so you can listen to music, and answer my phone calls, every hour,” he instructs. “I will, I love you guys. I’ll miss you, but I’m going to be fine. Don’t worry. I don’t know if I’ll be able to drive through, but If I pull over to sleep, I’ll send you a text.”

“Do not text your location though, in case he takes our phones. Wait... If we ever text you something, and you want to verify it’s us, ask the password. Our password will be … Peggy,” my mom says. I nod, and give one final hug to them, and get into my car, and drive away. When I get to the border of the pack lands, I say words I never dreamed I would ever say. “ I Lauren Crane reject Claw Moon, as my pack.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I hear a chilling howl. Nathan would have felt that I just rejected his clan as well. I speed off into the night.

Chapter 5

Zac’s Point of View

I make my way to the open field where my warriors are waiting for me. I have been taking advantage of the warmer weather the last few months and training everyone outside together. It’s starting to get a little chilly though. “Good Morning! I know it’s starting to get colder out, the fall mornings can get chilly. We’ll have to train in warmer gear over the next few weeks if need be. Hopefully, the contractors can finish the new warrior's building on schedule before the snow starts falling. I know it’s not fun to be training in the cold like this, but I want to continue for as long as we can. I hope you can all see how valuable it is to be able to train with so many other warriors. I have noticed it has had a large impact on many of you, I can see a lot of you have made large strides of improvement, and I am very proud,” I say loudly.

“What are we going to do with the current warriors building then?” A warrior asks me. “I am going to make it the gym. Our current gym in the basement of the pack house is small, dark and dreary. Then the next project will be renovating the pack house basement, and getting it nice and bright, and getting some more bedrooms down there. I want to do whatever I can to make more room for more pack members. The bigger and stronger we are, the better we will be at protecting ourselves from any threat that presents itself,” I explain. Everyone seems to be nodding in agreeance.

I spend the hour leading all the warriors, and when they break up to spar. I make my way around and give tips, and make sure I help any way I can. “Joline, make sure that you bend your knee’s a little bit more for that move. You’ll be rooted to the ground better, and you’ll be able to absorb more impact like that,” I explain. “Yes, Alpha!” She says, with flirty a smile. Joline is always flirting with me, but I always ignore it. I continue to move on, checking on other warriors, and I hear Joline say to her friend quietly, “Oh I’ll bend my knees anytime for him.” I try to act as if I didn’t hear a thing. There are some women that seem to be very forward with me. Of course, I act oblivious, or turn them down gently. I think I tend to be a little easier going then a lot of Alpha’s, so women tend to be more forward, and the guys tend to be more open with me. I’m all for great comradery within my pack. I want to joke around and interact with everyone in my pack. I’m not the quiet brooding type, but I am still their Alpha, and I won’t allow people to be comfortable enough that they think they can disrespect me.

Once our hour is done, I have an hour free before I lead the Advanced warrior’s class. This free hour is one of my favourite times of the week. It happened by accident the first time, but I have made sure to keep my Saturday schedule the same, because I enjoy it so much. I make my way behind the pack house, where I see them. “ALPHA!” The kids scream. I can’t help but feel happy when I see them and their happy smiling faces. The kids are between the ages 8-14 years old, and we always play a friendly game of soccer together. I’m not sure if they always played at 10 am every Saturday, or If I just caught them by fluke the first time. I think they were just fooling around one day, and they loved when I asked to join them. Either way they come the same time every week, and so do I. Although, I have noticed the group has grown since I first asked to join in. At first, I was playing with 5-6 kids, now there’s about 15. “Hey!” I holler. We always spend the first 10 minutes or so talking, and catching up. I love getting to know my pack members, young and old, it makes me feel more like this is my territory. I want to know everyone here, by name.

“Who are the captains this week?” I ask, after we catch up. “I’ll be one,” Sophia, the youngest and smallest girl here pipes up. I high five her, before anyone can argue with her. “Me too!” Tim, one of the biggest, and probably the oldest boy says quickly. I give him a high five too. “Ladies first. Who will it be, Sophia?” I ask. I can hear Tim groaning. I chuckle. “I pick Alpha!” She says excitedly. Her and Tim take turns picking, and bless Sophie’s heart, aside from me, she picked her whole team based on who she likes to hang out with. It’s basically the younger kids against the older kids except for me, and Sophie’s older brother, Mack. He walks over to me, “I think she doesn’t get the whole point is to win,” he sighs. “It’ll be fun, regardless,” I try to encourage him, and give him a pat on the shoulder.

We spent a half an hour running around, playing soccer. We got our asses whooped. My team seemed to be in good spirits about it though, aside from Mack. We all sit in a circle and talk for a little before I need to head to my next warrior training class. The kids like to tell me about things going on in their lives or ask me questions. Sometimes personal, sometimes about the pack, sometime completely random. They’re a good group of kids, and truthfully, this really is my favourite part of the week.

***

I’m eating lunch at my desk, catching up on some stuff for the accounting firm, when I see Jack is calling me.

Me: Hey Jack!

Jack: Hey!

Me: What’s up?

Jack: I’m a Dad… again!! [He sounds so excited]

Me: SHE HAD THE BABY?

Jack: YA! There were some complications. Lexi had to get a c-section. Little man was just too big. 9lbs 10oz. 24.5 inches long. He’s a big boy. [He chuckles]

Me: SHT. How’s Lexi? How’s the baby?

Jack: Lexi is holding up. The medication they gave her for the c-section hasn’t warn off yet, so she feels fine right now. Our son, Enzo is doing awesome. A real good set of lungs on him too. [He chuckles, and I can hear a baby crying.] I gotta go, I’m going to help Lex with him. I just wanted to let you know the good news.

Me: Well congratulations. I am so happy for you, and I’m glad everyone is safe, and healthy. Seriously, man. That’s great news. Send me a picture when you have a spare minute.

Jack: Thanks, Zac! I appreciate it, and I will.

I have grown up with Jack, and even though I witnessed him find his mate, it’s still crazy to me how quickly his life has changed. I’m really happy for him, and also envious. I’m 23, a little less than a year younger than him, and I can’t wait for the day that I find my mate. I want to be bringing pups into the world and becoming a father. I would love if I had someone to run this pack with. I saw how much Jack finding Lexi enriched his life, and I want that.

Knock Knock.

“Come in!” I call. I look up, and see one of my pack members, Jessica. She’s wearing a short red dress, black high heals, her blonde hair is done up, and she's wearing red lipstick that matches her dress. She way over dressed for a Saturday afternoon. F.K, not this again. “Hey, what’s up Jessica?” I ask, lazily, looking back down at my work. I’m not going to encourage this behaviour. She walks over, swaying her hips and smiling at me. She looks good, and I’m thinking that was her plan. She takes a seat in a chair in front of me, and crosses her legs, and leans more to one side, so I have a good view, even though I refuse to look. If she weren’t in my clan, this would totally work, but she is.

“Well, I came to see you because it’s a Saturday afternoon and you’re cooped up in here. You’re working so hard. I thought maybe I could help you relax for a little,” she flirts. That was bold. I look her in the eye and raise one eyebrow. “I have a lot of work to do, Sorry Jessica.” My gentle rejection doesn’t seem to phase her, or maybe she didn’t take it as a rejection? “I promise you, that I’ll take really good care of you,” she says seductively, and licks her lips. I see her eyes glide down my body. “Listen Jessica, I appreciate the offer, but I don’t cross that line with the woman in my pack. It would just complicate everything, and it wouldn’t be fair to my mate when I find her. The last thing I would want for our Luna, is for her to feel like she has to feel uncomfortable with the women in her pack,” I explain. She looks surprised and then mad.

“Maybe you won’t find your mate. Maybe you could be happy with me?” She questions. Jessica is good looking, and nice enough, but she’s not for me. I lean back in my chair. “I’m not going to give up on her. I’m sorry.” She nods her head and gets up to leave. She pauses at the door, “If you change your mind, you’ll let me know?” She asks, with pleading eyes. I give her a tight-lipped smile, and a little nod. I won’t change my mind. This type of thing happens too DAM often for the size of this clan, although it was a first time for Jessica.

I need to get out of here tonight. I’ll text Paul, maybe he wants to head to Peggy’s tonight, and blow off some steam. We took it easy yesterday because I was so tired, but now I just want to get away from the pack house for a little.

Chapter 6

Lauren’s point of view

It’s 5:05 am, and I’m still 3 hours away, I can’t keep my eyes open. The energy drinks don’t seem to be working anymore, and no genre of music is keeping me awake. I find a closed gas station, and park off to the side, and make sure my doors are locked. I grab my pillow out of one of my suitcases and recline my chair. I'm actually comfortable all snuggle up with my pillow and my coat as a blanket. I sent my mom and brother a text letting them know that I’m stopping to rest for a little. If I can just get an hour or 2 of sleep in, I should be better. It feels so good to close my eyes, and within seconds, I’m fast asleep. I sleep soundly, but wake to my phone ringing. I see the time is 8:57am. Holy CRP, I slept almost 4 hours. I can’t believe it.

Me: Hello!

Mom: Hey Honey! Were you still sleeping?

Me: Yah I was. I can’t believe I slept so long. It’s sunny out, I don’t know how I’ve been sleeping the last 4 hours in my car.

Mom: Well I’m glad you’re okay. You should get back on the road. It wouldn’t surprise me if he sent a search party out for you. He was up late in a fit of rage, and I don’t know what his plan is. His ego really took a hit. He was questioning me, and I said I didn’t know where you went, and I deleted all your contact information in my phone. You should get going if you can, hun.

Me: I don’t know why he would even care? He’s the one who wanted nothing to do with me. I thought he would be happy that he can focus on Blair now. It doesn’t make sense. Hopefully he’ll come to his senses and realize he doesn’t want me, and it’s better for both of us if I get away. I am going to run into the gas station, and use the washroom, and grab some coffee, and then I’ll be on my way.

Mom: Hopefully he’ll see that soon enough. Just text me that you’re safe when you get there, okay?

Me: I will. I love you. Bye Mom!

I can’t believe I slept 4 hours. I haven’t slept that long uninterrupted since before my 18th birthday. My mom said the mate bond wouldn’t be fully severed until the next full moon, but I feel like I don’t have a fated mate at all. I never thought I would think this, but it feels great. I stuff my toothbrush in my purse, and head inside. After I use the washroom, and then I grab a coffee, and a muffin, I get back on the road.

After 3 more hours of driving, I see a sign “Welcome to Red Riverview! Population 5,600.” At first, it looks like I’m driving a paved road in the middle of the woods, but soon I start to see some houses, and then a gas station. Then, thankfully, I see a big sign, “PEGGY’S PUB” I send my Mom a quick text when I pull in. The parking lot is empty, but as I expected since it’s only 12:30pm, it’s still kind of early for a pub. The sign says it opens at 3pm. I hope she’s here. The front door is locked, but I give it a knock.

Soon enough, the door swings open, and a short thin woman in her 60’s stands in front of me. Her mostly grey wavy hair is tied up into a high ponytail, and she has bangs. She’s wearing jeans and a red t-shirt. “Golly, Lauren? You look just like your father!” She says and pulls me into a hug. “You knew my Dad?” I ask, while I return the embrace. “Oh of course, Darlin! Your mother was working here when they started dating. He was always in here, keeping an eye on her. He was sweet on her since the moment he laid eyes on her. I guess that’s how it works with your kind though… well usually anyways. Sorry, hun,” she gives me a pained look. “Don’t be. I’m better off,” I smile, and it’s a genuine smile.

“Come on in, and I’ll give you a tour! So how long do you think you will be staying?” She asks. “Well I don’t need to stay here long. I don’t want to put you out, but I’m not going back,” I admit. “Well seems like I am always looking for good help, so as long as you want a job here, I’d be happy to have you. I live in a tiny home not far from here, and it just wouldn’t be big enough for the both of us, but I do have a little bachelor … or bachelorette pad. I used to live in it to save money, and then I rented it out in the past too, but it’s been empty for a while. Come on, it’s in the attic,” Peggy says. I’m a little nervous about living in an attic, I imagine it’s going to be dark and dreary and full of cobwebs, but anywhere is better than where I was.

We walk out the back door, and I see a set of steps off to the side. We walk up them and at the top of the stairs, Peggy unlocks the door and opens it. It’s not very big, but its has bright white walls, and rustic charming wooden plank floors. It’s not dark with cobwebs, thankfully. It has a double bed by the one big window. It has the tiniest closet I’ve ever seen. There is a light wood dresser, and a tiny white end table. It has a small bathroom with a claw foot tub, next to a toilet, with a tiny free-standing basin.

Separating the kitchenette is an empty white bookshelf. The kitchenette has a few lower cupboards that are painted light blue, with a smaller single kitchen sink. There are a few shelves on top with a few dishes, mixing bowls and mugs. There is a hot plate and a toaster oven on top of the counter, and a smaller fridge, with a tiny freezer on top. A small round table with 2 chairs is pushes up against the wall. The whole space has to be about 300 square feet, it’s rustic, but charming, and it’s everything I need. I can see myself adding a few small things to make it more my own, and more comfortable. “This is amazing, Peggy! I love it, and I really appreciate this. How much do you usually charge?” I ask. “Well why don’t we give you some time to get on your feet before we talk about that,” she smiles. “Really, I have some savings. I’d like to pay now,” I insist. “Well I usually rent it out for 450$ per month,” she says. I reach in my purse, and grab 900 dollars out. “I’ll give you two months now then,” I hand her the money.

“Just like your mother, always thinking ahead. Also, I didn’t know what you like, but I put a few things in the fridge for you, and in the lower cupboard there,” she opens the fridge, and I see some peanut butter, jam, bread, butter, apples, eggs, milk. The cupboard has a few cans of soup, crackers and cereal. “Peggy this was really sweet of you, I’d like to pay you for the groceries too,” I admit. “Oh it’s no big deal, it’s just the basics. You’re Joan’s daughter. I’m glad to help,” she insists. “Here is your key! Why don’t you take today off, get settled, and the bar is closed on Sunday, but we’ll get you started on Monday?” “I’m okay to start tonight, if you want?” I ask. I feel anxious to just jump in and get to it. If I put it off, I'll just stress about it.

“Are you sure you don’t need more time to get settled, and rest?” She asks. “If you’re closed tomorrow, then I can always rest and get settled then.” Peggy nods. “Okay, well its 12:30pm. Why don’t you meet down at the bar at 4? It’ll be pretty dead until 7pm, it’ll give us plenty of time to train you," Peggy says. “Sounds great. I can’t thank you enough Peggy. I am so grateful.” She smiles at me and gives me one last hug. “I’m glad to have you dear,” she says, before leaving.

I pull my car around back and haul my luggage upstairs. It doesn’t take me long to unpack my suitcases, and stuff my empty bags under my bed. All my dresses and coats barely fit in the tiny closet, with all my shoes. I make sure everything is dusted and cleaned; I don’t know how long it’s been since someone lived here. It’s only 2pm, and even though I barely slept in the last month, I’m still wide awake, and wired. This whole picking up and moving somewhere new is exhilarating, or maybe that’s anxiety I’m feeling? I decide to take a relaxing bath and listen to music to decompress and get ready for my new job. I waitressed at a diner one summer a few years ago, but I’ve never bartended before. I wonder if drunkards or toddlers are more difficult.

I get out my bathtub, and I feel so good. It’s almost like I've felt like I have been drowning for the last month. Barely keeping my head above water, fighting just to survive, and suddenly someone has pulled me into the boat, and out of the water. I have such a sense of relief, and peace now, and it all just hit me.

I blow dry my naturally straight hair and tie it up, since I’m working with food and beverages. I decide to wear a high sleek ponytail. I put on some black skinny jeans, with a black t-shirt. I put on some brown ankle height cowgirl boots, it seems like it would be a good fit for this bar. I put some makeup on. I add a black cat eye, some blush, mascara, and tinted lip stain and I’m ready to go. It's amazing how much those 4 hours of sleep did for my complexion. I don't look so tired and washed out anymore. I eat a quick PB&J with an apple before I head down for 4pm.

“Oh, you look nice! The men will be just eyeing you up all night,” Peggy laughs. I smile uncomfortably. Attracting men isn’t really what I’m going for. Then Peggy gives me a black 'Peggy’s Pub' t-shirt to change into. She introduces to me to Jerome, the cook. Jerome is a bulky looking man. He seems nice, with a ‘no nonsense’ sort of attitude, which I can totally appreciate. I can imagine being the only cook, he needs to be like that.

I spend the next few hours learning the ins and outs of the job. The waitressing is a breeze, and for the most part, Peggy assures me, it’s mostly beer and shots being served. Not a lot of mixed drinks in here. She trains me on the cash, and it all seems straight forward. Peggy gets me taking orders for everyone who comes in at first. It’s not too busy, and she wants to iron out any kinks before things pick up. Apparently, I picked the busiest night of the week to start, which is a little nerve wracking. I wonder how Jerome and Peggy manage to keep everyone served on their own in this place. I guess they’ll appreciate the extra set of hands tonight.

The last few hours have been good. Everyone has been nice, and all the customers are happy to see a new face, but everyone’s got questions. I try and keep it as vague as possible. “My Mom is an old friend of Peggy’s, and I’ve heard so much about the fine people of Red Riverview, and how they’re a cut above the rest, and I needed to see for myself.” They always follow up with “AND?” or “What’s the verdict?” I of course tell them she wasn’t lying. They’re all eating it up, but everyone has honestly been very welcoming and kind, so it’s not a lie. I walk up to a table of 4 ladies, they are all laughing and having a good time. They are all very beautiful and look to be in their early 20’s. “Wait we’ve never seen you around here before. You’re pretty too, what are you doing here? In the middle of nowhere?” One girls asks.

I chuckle at the tell tale sign that they started drinking before they got here. Women tend to let the compliments fly when they’re feeling the effects of alcohol. “Uh thanks. I’m Lauren. My Mom is an old friend of Peggy’s, and I needed a change, so here I am,” I say, which is the most honest answer I have given all night. “So what can I get for you pretty ladies tonight?” I ask. “A round of fireball shots for all of us,” one blonde answers. “Should we just get a bottle of wine too?” another ask. They discuss if for a second, and then order a bottle of wine, with 3 glasses, and a Michelob Ultra for one of them. I head back to the bar, and I notice 2 good looking guys sitting at the bar that weren’t there before. One of them is beyond gorgeous. I think I might have froze for a second when I first saw his face. He took my breath away.